Friday, February 27, 2009

blahhhhhhhh

Hey...
Today started out pretty good. It was a half day. Then I went to the mall with a friend. You know those car things for little kids? you put in a quarter and they rock back in forth? There was this robot thingy like that at the mall that I tried to fit in. Some random lady started yelling at me. It was pretty funny. All I bought was green zebra print shoelaces at hot topic, pocky (Asian candy), and a strawberry banana smoothie. I sat down in like the middle of the mall, took off my shoes and relaced them. I like doing random things like that. Haha.
Then I got home. I attempted to make a 50 things video response to Mitchell Davis's but I went over 10 minutes and youtube doesn't want vids over 10 minutes. then I tried making another one but the camera had issues and decided to stop recording randomly. So whatever.
Then I went on the computer. Then my dad came down. I assumed he was gunna ask to use the computer so I logged off. But instead he sat down and told me my grandmother died. Then my mom needed to use the computer so I went up to my room and I wrote about what my dad told me. Then I found myself crying. I'm usually pretty good at holding back tears but this time I wasn't. And since I hate crying in front of people (I hate it when people worry about me) I closed the door and changed into my pajamas. Now I'm back on the computer. My parents left to see the rest of my mom's family. I was home alone for a while but now my brother's here with his friend. Which is weird since we never have friends over.
So anyways, I don't have any gandparents anymore and i'm feeling sad. I'm glad my parents left cuz my mom was crying and seeing her cry only made me wanta cry more. Then my dad kept awkwardly asking me if I was ok. Me and him never talk so its always weird when he tries to talk to me.
I think I'll be ok. I didn't really know much about my grandmother. We always went to her house and she never could remember my name. But its still sad that she died.
I think my way of dealing with sadness is to ignore it during the day and then cry my eyes out at night.
It's also weird. I feel psychic. This probably sounds really dumb. But like when I woke up I somehow sensed that i was gunna cry today. And I did. Also, a couple days ago I was watching Jeopardy and it was final jeopardy and the subect was "American authors". Then it cut to commercial. I knew it wouldn't be a recent auther so I thought of the names of old authors. I remembered reading in a magazine that Pete Wentz named his dog after Hemingway, this old author dude. So in my head I was like "watch the answer be Hemingway". But then it actually was. It was crazy. Also yesterday, me and my brother walked up to 7-eleven and I some how knew that when we got back our dad would be home. And he was. Maybe I'm the next Alice Cullen. 0.o